


A Written Invitation

by raendown



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 13:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/pseuds/raendown
Summary: It had to be some kind of prank. Had to.





	A Written Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a tumblr prompt
> 
> Sequel: [Contractual Reevaluations](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15674454)

Madara squinted at the scroll he held in his grasp one more time before slowly lowering it down to rest in his lap, folding the fingers of one hand over it to obscure the words from the rest of the empty room. There wasn’t even anyone here but just the thought of someone seeing the contents of this letter brought a few extra shades to the color already painting his cheeks. 

What in the five great nations was that fool up to? It had to be some kind of prank. Had to. There was no possible way it could be serious.

Because if it was serious then Senju Tobirama had just written him a very politely worded request for the two of them to engage in ‘an experimental occurrence of coitus’ like some high-end hooker that required no pay.

Actually Tobirama had offered to reimburse him for the favor in any way he wished, which was its own kind of insult. He was no scarlet woman; he was a clan Head, a man of immense power that a bug like Tobirama should afford the proper respect. He should not be receiving formal booty calls in the mail. No matter how tempting the offer was. 

Shaking his head violently to expel such unwanted stray thoughts, Madara rolled up the scroll and stomped over towards his front door, stopping to yank on a pair of sandals before rushing out of the house with a scowl on his face. How dare that man have the audacity to make such implications against his character! And here he’d thought they were just starting to cool down the animosity between themselves lately, neither of them wishing to deal with Hashirama’s pouting more than necessary. 

His own clansmen had the good sense to leap out of the way when they saw him coming, wary of the dark cloud nearly visible over his head. Some of the other villagers he passed on the way to the Senju compound did not. One of the unfortunate men he trampled along his warpath shouted at him until he was out of sight but Madara paid him no mind. He had a mission: to demand an explanation for this foolishness and seek as much revenge as was necessary. 

Tobirama’s chakra mocked him as he drew close, completely calm and unbothered by his own actions. Madara aimed to change that very quickly. He marched up to the man’s front door, banged on it with his fist several times, and then opened it to storm inside without waiting. As soon as the door shut behind him he was bellowing for the idiot he had come to yell at. 

“Get out here and face me like a man!” had only just left his mouth when a head of pale hair popped out of a doorway near the end of the hall. 

“Ah, Madara,” Tobirama greeted him with no surprise in his voice. “Have you come about my letter? I admit, I had hoped for a quick response but had not set my expectations on one.” 

Twitching with anger, Madara gripped the scroll even more tightly and stalked down the hall towards where his soon-to-be victim’s head had just disappeared. He had several bones to pick and explanations to demand. Of course he had come about the letter! 

When he bulled in to the room, however, he realized his grave mistake. 

“You’re naked,” he breathed, rage and indignation seeping out like water through a sieve. Tobirama didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. 

“Of course I am. This is customary, is it not?”

“Custo-? For what!?”

“For sex.”

“Nngg!?”

While Madara’s brain was trying frantically to reboot, desperately attempting to reload whatever tab his thoughts had been in, Tobirama looked down to see the scroll that he was holding and lit up with a smile he generally only directed at his experiments. 

It was worrisome that Madara found such a deranged expression to be so damn attractive at the same time. 

“You  _are_  here to accept my request, it seems. As the only other man I know who is attracted to members of the same sex, I felt you would be best to ask for help filling in my rather lacking experience with sexual encounters. Would it be best, in your opinion, to begin with coitus or to work up to it with things such as fellatio or frottage?” The fact that he was able to say all that with a straight face also should not have been attractive. Madara had to work his jaw several times before he was able to speak. 

“The letter was serious.”

“Of course.” Tobirama leveled him with a disapproving look. “This is not the sort of thing one should ask lightly of another person. That would imply you to be a gentleman of nightly employ and that would be quite a serious insult.” 

“You want me to have sex with you.”

Disapproval turned to that eager expression which always showed up when Tobirama was offered a juicy new tidbit of knowledge. “Yes. I would like to learn.”

“And you want to learn from me because I’m the only gay man you know.”

“Indeed. It was only logical to make the request of you.” 

For a moment Madara simply held very still and contemplated whether or not he might have slipped through the cracks in to an alternate dimension. He no longer believed it to be a prank and yet it still seemed a little fantastical to be true. 

Then Tobirama set his hands on his hips and the position put his entire body on display in such a manner that Madara felt his trousers tightening immediately. 

“I don’t think I see a downside to this,” he murmured, unsure if he was speaking to himself or to the man who had propositioned him.

Much later - perhaps somewhat less than four months down the road - he would discover that there was indeed a downside to instructing Tobirama in the intricacies of sexual intercourse. Madara’s doom came in the early morning as he watched his partner stretch and yawn and realized that he had fallen irrevocably in love. Now he was going to be stuck with this crazy bastard for the rest of his life. 

He was both excited and terrified but, really, he was almost used to that heady mixture at this point.


End file.
